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Super glue, not so super as it turns out

2004-06-28 @ 10:51 a.m.

Its' Super Powers? - Pissing Me Off!

So yesterday I spent a little time trying to hang up my hot pink and yellow chinese light balls. However, to do this correctly required me to drill into the concrete ceiling. Being the perfect tenant that I am, I chose to purchase some super glue and attach the hook to the ceiling and walls.

So I have discovered this: super glue is WAY too sticky. And yes, I know how stupid that sounds. But let's just say that I will use gloves from now on. I cut the tip off the tube and immediately a ridiculous amount of glue sprayed over my desk. 'Crap!' I wiped it off as fast as I could because I knew it would harden within seconds and I had no time to spare. So then OF COURSE I had superglue all over my fingers. A thin crust of glue began to encase my finger tips within seconds. *Super!* So at this point it was too late to take it off, so I continued with my work. I got the hook to stay in place and hung up the hot pink ball above my bed.

I then tried to scrub off the hardened glue off my fingers, but to no avail. I figured it would come off in the shower this morning.

So I went to bed and called it a night. And oh, what a night. First of all, it seems that I move a lot in my sleep. And apparently I touch my face a lot... And oh yeah, I kept on waking up and seeing a giant mysterious orb above my head, forgetting what it was and freaking out every single time. Eventually at 5 AM I took the stupid thing down.

So this morning I crawl out of bed cursing myself for going to bed late, with super glue on my fingers, which were now glued to my face, with particles of dust attached, with unidentified food crumbs joining the party...

So the glue didn't completely come off in the shower. *Super!* I put some random outfit on because I was running extremely late, and I finally get to my car. Now first I have to explain the car situation. I have a camaro, and originally I had a keyless entry keychain-thing that would unlock the door with one honk. The stupid thing broke like a year ago. So in order for me to get into my car without the incessant honking-alarm to go off, I have to unlock the door with my key and start the car within 15 seconds. I have 15 seconds to start the car. So I do my daily scramble to get into the car as quickly as possible as to try and not anger the Car Horn God. But the key won't go in! It only goes half way! Thus the car starts honking!

For what seems like an hour, the car is honking..loudly..over and over...and over. It is 8:30 am, my neighbors will not be thrilled. I look at the key, is it bent? What the hell is wrong with my key? Did some kind of burgular come into my apartment and bend my keys? What kind of person goes to random people's apartments and bends their keys? I investigate the key. The car is honking. I look around, people are starting to stare at me. Back at the key. Wait, there's something on it, what is that? Is that super glue? How the F did super glue get on my keys?! My brain flashes back to last night. My car is honking. Oh yeah, that first stupid squirt of glue when I opened the tube, my keys were on my desk. What are the odds of the glue going on that particular key? I pray, dear God, please let me get this glue off. Please make the car stop honking. What if I'm late? What do I tell my boss? "I'm sorry, I will be late to work, there's glue on my keys. Don't ask."

I jam the key in one last time. It goes in, I start the car. The honking ceases.

Thank you Lord!

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