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Spinning a Yard-Long Tale

2004-06-22 @ 10:52 p.m.

Spinning a Yard-Long Tale

In retrospect I should have arrived at my parents' yard sale a little earlier. I walked up to my recently-abondoned-childhood-home in a meloncholy sort of reverence. I then spied a mother and daugther frolicking down my driveway wrapping themselves in ...wait a minute.. isn't that my sweater? Excuse me! That's my winter coat! THE ONE I WEAR DURING THE WINTER, YOU KNOW WHEN IT GETS COLD? I then grabbed it and ran up to my mother who was frantically trying to sell my dad's old tightey whiteys for 10 cents, and 'mystery boxes' for a dollar.

"Why in the world are you selling my winter clothes??"

"....and you are???"

"Mom, come on. I wear those clothes. You know I haven't picked up all of my stuff yet!!"

So I hurriedly snatched my clothes off the rack and confronted those had already purchased my stuff.

"How much did you pay for my sophomore year high school yearbook?"

"25 cents"

"What? Okay, can I have it back now? I'll give you your money back"

"No, I think I'll keep it. I didn't like my high school years...I always got picked on. No one liked me. You have a lot of signatures in here...yeah I think like your version better. I think I'm gonna keep it"

"DUDE! It's my yearbook, come on seriously, how much?"

"Fifty bucks"

"Fifty bucks? Are you kidding me? Give me my damn book back!!"

"Fiine, aight. Take it. I'll just have to tell little Petey and Bessie that there will be no Christmas this year."

"Ma'm that doesn't even make any sense."


So then I sought revenge. My mother told me to grab whatever was left in one of the closets and bring it outside. I came out with some old outfits of hers, a jacket or two and oh yeah, her weddding dress.

I was about to sell her 1974 Hippie Gown for a mere seventy-five cents when she snatched it away from me.

"What are you doing Elizabeth??"

"Well, gee mom, you've only worn it once. Maybe if you wore it a few more times, I would be more willing to let you keep it."

"Not funny, put it back."



Perhaps my parents were taking revenge upon me for leaving their nest. For releasing them onto the wild. For allowing them to be one child closer to having an empty home. Or perhaps they had forgotten about me all together in the five weeks since I've moved out. It's a possiblity.


Pricing things that you've had all, or a lot of your life is hard to do. Reminds me a lot of that movie 'Ghost World' (good movie, I recommend it) The main character has a yard sale to try and save up some money to move out (coincidently) and as soon as someone wants to buy something she remembers what it meant to her and suddenly declares that it's not for sale.

What do you do with old gifts? Gifts that used to mean a lot to you, but in the past few years you haven't even thought about? Or what about things that you saved up a lot of money to buy when you were a kid, to now just sell it for a dime..on a dime?

Wait a minute, why was my mother selling my dad's underwear?? What's up with that?

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