Finally a Butterfly Movie that Mariah Carey Had No Part Of
2004-01-23 @ 3:22 a.m.
Just when I thought I would never tell the films "Dragonfly" and "Mothman Prophecies" apart, comes "The Butterfly Effect".
I sense a pattern. A pattern that can be easily viewed on the wing of an-insect-type-bug-that-can-fly.
What's with the sudden fascination with horror films incorporating small winged creatures into its premise? I sense a remake of "LadyBugs"!
Although, this time the role of 'Chester Lee', (previously played by Rodney Dangerfield), will now be played by the ultimate horror-insect-protagonist, Jeff Goldblum.
That's right, formerly of 'The Fly" and "Jurassic Park" fame comes Goldblum in: "The Fly Part 4, The Fly Gets Married." Yes, not only will this film have THE LONGEST TITLE EVER, it will feature Goldblum 'blooming' into a studly man who needs a mate. He comes across the vivacious Ladybug (formerly Vivica A. Fox, hence vivacious) and the two get married.
Now you are asking, 'but wait, Chickie Legs, you said this was going to be a horror film? This sounds more like a light-hearted-romp!'
First of all, don't ever say 'romp' again, or I will punch you in the face. Secondly, I SAID THEY GET MARRIED. AND MARRIAGES ARE A HORROR IN THEMSELVES!!
I expect to hear from Paramount or Fox Pictures soon about this dynomite idea. Just remember where you heard it first.