2005-01-04 @ 10:12 p.m.
My Title Needs to be Changed..Possibly..
On occassion I like to tear myself away from my computer (literally, I suggest Crisco), plop myself on my comfy chair and filp through the channels. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever actually watch a show in its entirity. I'm much like a guy that way. And on even rarer occassions I'll land on the show 'Fear Factor'. But seriously, I hate this show. More specifically when they have to eat ripenisiously (yes I'm taking that gimmick to a new level, jealous?) anyway... they eat gross crap. I mean I can't imagine stuffing maggots mixed with cochroaches and sheep scrotum in my mouth for a mere possibility of winning some cash.
But then again, who can say what I would do in that situation? So I began to reflect on the impulsive things I have done in my life.
During my senior year of high school I chose to take 'Oceanography' as my elect science class. Not because I'm extremely interested in sea creatures or glaciers, but because it sounded like an "easy A". (notice senior status). Much to my chagrin (what a stupid word btw), we had to dissect fish, starfish and other obscure water-themed critters. However, one animal on the dissection table was a fetal pig. Now, I admit I'm not much of a scuba diver, or even frequent the beach so much, but I do not ever remember snorkeling around some back-stroking fetal pigs..but that's just me. Feel free to share your stories of wading around pre-born farm animals...
Anyway there were only like two available, so the teacher took volunteers to dissect them. And if you know me, you would know that I would probably be the LAST person to volunteer to do this. But somehow, I was the first. I still don't know why, really. I think I just had an insane sense of impulsivity and adrenaline that compelled me to do it. Let the pig COMPELL you! Rrright, anyway everyone looked shocked; my usual status in that class was to either not attend, doodle guys or rainbows or do ANYTHING OTHER THAN maniacally carve aborted pigs.
So there I was, dissecting this hardened-B.L.T.-Never-To-Be, and was at it like a champ. I eventually got a B in the class, but in the end I was just proud of my adventures risk-taking.
Another example of my 'risk-taking' was when I was 19 and was on my way home from work. I used to be a big fan of the 'Don and Mike Show' here in DC. It was orginally a local radio show, but in the past 10 years or so has been nationally syndicated. (in case you haven't heard of them). Anyway they actually broadcast in Fairfax, which was on my way home. So that day they were having a 'bitch slap contest'....of which they needed two women to come into the station and enter a contest to slap each other in the face..and whoever did it the longest without giving in to the eventual pain, wins $100. I was like 20 yards from the station and thought 'fuck it' and screeched into the parking lot. It was pretty surreal as I walked in and announced that I was indeed, there to be in the bitch-slapping contest. Cut to three hours later, red-faced and numb I had won $100. Again, an extremely impulsive gesture, that isn't quite characteristic.
Nothing has been changed to this entry. NOTHING. Now look into my flashlight here...