2005-03-30 @ 12:26 p.m.
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I just wanted to see how many times it takes for a word to lose its' meaning. And then it makes sense again. Then it doesn't.
Okay so I wrote this last night, late, and I was slightly manic. So this morning I deleted it. Then SOMEONE told me not to do that, so I am reposting it. It's still odd..but whatever. In other news my job FINALLY called the temp agency to try and speed up this ridiculous four-week long process of taunting and torturing chickie-legs into thinking she might actually not be a receptionist forever. So it should just be just a mere nother eight months now when we start getting resumes in and I get to 'weed out' possible receptionist. Part of me feels bad for these girls. I mean the job SUCKS. Can't imagine why someone would want it, unless they had alterior motives from the beginning like I did. I was determined to become an editor. To learn the avid, and the DS, to actually watch tv and casually lean over to someone and say 'I edited that'. Yeah, I EDITED THAT JUNX, WORSHIP ME. Of course they won't, but that's besides the point. Maybe they'll at least give me some ice cream or something. Speaking of ice cream, I have been sincerely trying to not have any lately. And by 'lately' I mean 'the past three hours'. I have come to the realization that I am in fact, a sugar addict. I didn't think it was possible for someone to have a negative connotation to cadbury eggs and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I mean I anticipate the various holidays mostly because of the 'holiday' candy. And more imporantly the post-holiday candy massive discounts at CVS. Which stands for 'Candy Very Sugary'. I know, it's a ridiculous acronymn, but dammit if it ain't true. Scrambled Cadbury Eggs is a good way to start off the morning by the way. But after watching 'Super Size Me', I now admit that I am junky. I'm sure there is a 12-step program for sad souls such as myself.
12. have a final ice cream celebration.
11. okay, seriously this is the last one, maybe invite some friends and make up some excuse as to why you are celebrating. For example; deciding it's time to quit eating ice cream.
10. Don't buy any ice cream.
9. Slowly ween yourself by freezing yoplaits in your freezer and try to convince yourself it is ice cream.
8. If you are still having cravings, eat it the slowest way possible by eating the ingreidents separately and it automatically form into ice cream in your tummy if you were to take a cold shower. Or maybe just stand in front of the fridge for a while. Just buy eggs, cream, milk, cookie dough, preservatives, red #24 and yellow #465. Do NOT buy yellow #462. Trust me, you don't want to go there. Not a good situation. Even if it's on sale, stay from yellow #462!
7. Use subliminal messages and brain therapy the old fashioned clockwork orange way. Whenever you see ice cream, or go the dessert section at Safeway, or even look at a cow in a field, have someone punch you in the face. Sure, it might hurt. But dammit if you won't eat diary for the next five minutes.
6. Join a support group. If you can't find one, start one. Just don't repeat my mistake and serve ice cream at the weekly unnecessary buffet.
7. Man 12 is a lot of friggin steps.
6. No wonder it takes so long for people to quit drugs. Who has the patience???
5. I don't.
4. These don't even count as steps.
3. But that fact that in the time that you are reading this and you HAVEN'T eaten any ice cream is a good step.
2. I'm proud of you. Just one more left.
1. You're done. Now just wait a few years and you will recieve your honorary 'I havne't eaten ice cream in the past few years' chip.
Now these 30 pounds will just melt away, just like the four tubs of ice cream just placed in my trash can.