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tampax/pearls=bethie gets angry

2003-04-28 @ 12:13 a.m.

"The Scientific Method, Less Science, More Method: The Story of Pearls, Kids, and Aunt Flo

By Chickie-Legs

According to the Scientific Method , a scientist must follow certain methods to obtain a hypothesis, and eventually, a theory.

Step One: Observe some aspect of the universe. = Advertising is getting out of hand. Example #1: "Tampax Pearl Tampons"

2. Invent a tentative description, called a hypothesis, that is consistent with what you have observed.= The latest in 'tampon fashion' is best described as wearing a pearl necklace, this in turn, makes me angry.

3. Use the hypothesis to make predictions= I predict that I will write a diary entry about how much I think this sucks. Also, I will not purchase above mentioned 'pearl tampons'.

4. Test those predictions by experiments or further observations and modify the hypothesis in the light of your results= This step reminds me of why I hated school so much, but basically, this ad campaign is 'testing my patience'...

5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 until there are no discrepancies between theory and experiment and/or observation= I seriously doubt there will be any 'discrepancies' in my hypothesis. Unless of course, I decide to purchase this amazing new product and discover that it, indeed, is superior to all other female products on the market. Which I seriously doubt.

What a drunk psychology major might try and convince me of: "Perhaps the comparison between a pearl, which is the result of a unique oyster forming a beautiful jewel, and the tampon, which can be associated with the birth of a human being shows how precious life is, and since you have a problem with this, you clearly haven't come to terms with your hatred for children."

What I would say to this person: "Shut up, you're a douchebag."

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