Estimated times I will hear "Wow, I can't believe it's 2004! That's so crazy! Seems like just yesterday it was 2001. And that's like the movie, '2001' and like, I remember thinking wow, when it's 2001, I'm gonna be such-and-such years old. And NOW it's 2004! I'm soo old!" = 35 times

Estimated times I will want to smack people for singing that stupid New Year's song THAT NO ONE KNOWS THE WORDS TO OR KNOWS WHAT THE HELL IT MEANS = too friggin many!!!

Seriously, what the hell is that song anyway? I think it's seriously outdated. I think we need a new one.

Here's the old one that IS SO GAY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

'AULD LANG SYNE'

music & lyrics by Robert Burns

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot for auld lang syne
We twa ha' run aboot th' braes an' pu'd the gowans fine
But we've ventured mony a weary fet since auld lang syne
We twa ha' paddled in the burn from morning sun 'till dine
Now oceans broad between us roar since auld lang syne
For auld lang syne my dear, for auld lang syne
We'll drink a glass of kindness yet for auld lang syne
So here's a hand my trusty friend and gi'se a hand o' thine
And we'll tak a richt good willy-wot for auld lang syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot for auld lang syne
For auld lang syne my dear, for auld lang syne
We'll drink a glass o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne

New Lyrics
To the Tune of Auld Lang Syne:

'Should you blow that thing in my face,
you know that noisemaker...
I'll bust a cap!
Oh should you blow that thing in my face,
I will hunt you down,
like the dog you are,
and punch you in the face.

(repeat 20 times ....it doesn't matter what you really sing here, everyone is so drunk they won't know what the F is going on anyway!)

So really, just make up your own words to this old tune. I'm just giving you some rough ideas.

Now go out and make up your own traditions. And please forego the stupid 'resolutions' My new year's resolution is to not make any resolutions. Nobody ever does them anyway, and it just makes you feel guilty.

Drive safe!