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Long Lost Entry #1

2008-06-19 @ 11:15 p.m.

Okay so full-time-newborn-time is more time consuming than I had originally planned for. So much for a 'diary entry every day'....anyway so the other night while I was trying to fall asleep- again, I was going through my old emails. I stumbled upon a long lost folder called 'diary'. I then opened several emails that I had totally forgotten about. It seems I went through a pretty manic phase and wrote a million entries that I never posted. Why? Because at the time I didn't think they were good enough. I would draft these diary entries and re-write them and never think they were good enough, so they just ended up in my folder to be dealt with later. Well it is later. 3 years later to be exact. Well 3 years and 4 months to be more exact. Well 3 years, 4 months and 6 days to be more exacter. Anyway so I will be making a few 'Chickie Legs Long Lost Diary Tales' in the next few days, or whenever I can find time between burping, eating and diaper changing. And then I have to attend to the baby ... hahaha. ha. ha

Anyway the following was originally written on February 13th, 2005. I was not yet dating Angel, for the record.

In the pursuit of trying to figure out what to write about while I celebrate my fourth AWFUL Valentine's day in a row, I realized I don't have to be incredibly profound or inspirational. Everyone knows that Valentine's Day has become in our society a 'Hallmark Holiday'. The cliche is that all men hate this holiday for they feel the pressure of buying gifts for their girlfriends or wives in hopes that they will 'win points', or whatever. All women want is to feel loved, secure and appreciated by their significant other.

All I want is chocolate.

So if anything, in the world of Chickie-Legs, Valentine's Day just means another opportunity for me to buy an exorbitant amount of discounted post-holiday candy.

I'm going to try and convince myself that this is the truth, so that's all I'm going to say about Valentine's day.

...In a related story, I went to CVS today to scope out the full V-day prices, so I can later appreciate the reduced prices on Tuesday. During my aisle-to-aisle perusal, I remembered that I wanted to find a new perfume. I've had the same few perfumes for years, and I figured it was about time to smell different. Much to my surprise I stumbled upon one that was apparently made for someone just like me. I looked it up online, here is what the ad


Introducing "Le' Leg de
, a perfume that transcends through time, space, speed of light and screened-in porches. It will seduce your senses, nay, your soul into a fiery fire of abyss of awesomeness.

If you are the type of person that says they enjoy "long walks on the beach" with your lover but when it comes down to it would rather sit in your room playing video games, then you are not a Le' Leg de Chica woman. If you actually walk on this alleged beach with someone and you find yourself pushing them into the sand and covering them with the sand, after which you mold the sand into some sort of funny animal with maybe odd shaped boobs and a bikini, then yes, you should wear Le Leg de Chica.

A L.L.D.C. woman possesses certain qualities that men desire. What makes her tick? What does she think about? More often than not when you ask her what song is in her head she will lie and tell you it's something intelligent or hip sounding like a song from Phantom of the Opera or perhaps a Morrissey song. But she doesn't even know who Morrissey is. At first she thought it was just a nickname for Jim Morrison. However, in actuality the songs in her head are most likely either "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow or "In the Navy" by the Village People.

Yes the woman who chooses to use de Chica as her scent will probably choose to sleep in on Saturdays. And by "sleep in" not only do I mean she wakes up at 3pm, but I mean she sleeps IN the previous nights' ice cream/candy celebration of one. She'll wake up and push the empty Ben and Jerry's cartons and KitKat wrappers to the side and start her day as the most awesome of all future-diabetic-people alive!

For only $134.93 you can purchase a 2 oz. chicken-legged shaped bottle of Le' Leg de Chica. It will change your life. It will change your bank account. It will make us rich.

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