Once upon a time, there was a man named Mr. Maraschino. He grew up in Italy, but then moved to America to find work...at a pizza place. "Mama mia! Am I hungry! But this ridiculous moustache on my face prohibits me from eating...plus I'm a cherry! Mama mia!"

Then Squashie came and changed Mr. Maraschino's life. Squashie was a depressed lad. He was tired of being a 'tool'. Plus he didn't even know how to play Squash! He was ridiculed all the time. Look at him, I mean come on. He's pathetic!

Seedless to say, Mr. Maraschino loved Squashie. And Squashie loved Mr. Maraschino. They made happy Maraschino/Squashie love, and produced a very gross pie.

To be continued...