If you find yourself saying that phrase over and over, then let me introduce you to the 'Granny Smith' +Apple Computer. If you're a member of the 'greatest generation', or possibly 'blooming with grey hairs', you most likely curse 'those dang contraptions' we normal people call computers. Well get with the program Granny! Because here is your chance to advance to the 21st century!

Your luxorious and accomodating personal computer comes with everything you will need:

* 3 foot wide monitor with fonts only available in sizes 50 and up.

*Expanded keyboard to include 'old-timey' phrases that only you and other blue-haired folk understand. Such as "hooligans", "whipper-snapper" and "typewriter".

* Get in touch with our 24/7 friendly technical support with ease by pressing your 'life-alert' button on your chest. If you do not already have the life-alert system, order now and you will get a 40% discount! Two falls are free on us!!

* Easy to understand dictionary explaining new terms and ideology of today's youth. Don't understand why your car lacks 'bling-bling?' What about discovering why kids are so inept of comprehending hard work and common sense these days? You'll find out in our 604 page pamphlet titled "Walking Up Hill Both Ways Is Technically Impossible, Grandpa".

Act now, and we'll throw in a free 'monitor cozy', perfect to disguise your new found love for 'Ebay', 'Granny-Chat' and 'Crochet-cro-awesome.com' from all of your simple-minded oldie friends!

Just go to http://grannysmithcomputersthisisnotarealsitesodontgothere.com for this month's specials!

+chickie-legs.diaryland.com is in no way affialiated with Apple computers. However, I would certainly not turn away a brand new G5 and handsome compensation for my innovative ideas.