private eye scream
2002-10-02 @ 11:35 p.m.
So I go to rent some movies today at my local 'Blockbuster' and I impulsively bought some candy. Odd selection of candy, blockbuster has. I ended up purchasing 'muddy bears', which LET ME TELL YOU, is ridicalickulickalous. (to quote Harland Williams) If are not hip to this candy, let me break it down for you:
basically what we have here, is chocolate covered gummi bears. Now, now, I know what you are thinking. "eww gross, gummu + chocolate? you're weird!" Well look, I didn't invent the damn things, but I'm telling you they are good. And they taste exactly as they sound.
Then I also bought 'blue raspberry phallus'. Or how they market it, "push pop". I asked Michelangelo if he wanted to try some of it, but he told me how he was intent on remaining to appear 'mostly non-homo-gay'. So I bring my items to the counter, and the very sweet check-out nerd said, "Ah, this doesn't seem to be your cup of tea, I take it you have a little one at home". (referring to the candy, not the movies).
I didn't say anything, just a smile. A 'loud smile', as I recently coined the term...I chuckled on the inside, surely this lady has no idea who she is dealing with. If she only knew that she was standing in front of a future diabetic candy-holic.
On the way to dinner tonight I told Michelangelo that I was going to save up and buy an ice cream truck. And drive it around campus and taunt students with it. I would only let them buy ice cream if there weren't complete posers and ass-frat-wipes. I bet I would make a lot of money. I think I would just put my Mason parking sticker on that sucker and drive it to school every day. Then my parents would kick me out, so I'd have to live in it. But I'm telling you it is worth it! Sweet, merciful ice cream trucks. I could put up ghetto photos of other products I could sell from that truck. Like bootleg copies of bad Steven Segull movies...oh wait, ALL OF HIS MOVIES ARE BAD? Or I could sell black-mailing photos of customers'. Yeah I would be like a private-eye-scream truck. Yeah, damn I'm good, that's a good idea. I can solve mysteries and eat and sell ice cream all day long.
Then I can make movies about it, since that is my major and all.