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We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it

2003-09-03 @ 1:03 a.m.

We'll Jump Off That Bridge When We Come To It.

I hereby nominate the rhetorical question, 'if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do that too?' to be officially erased from our vocabulary. This query has most likely plagued your childhood at one point or another. It's odd how these phrases seem to circulate among the parents. For example, you come home and your mom asks you why you missed your curphew. You reluctantly tell her that your friends decided it would be cool to go to the local porn shop. Then there is the obligatory, "well I'm sorry, but that isn't good enough. If everyone jumped off a bridge..." The thing is they start to over use this crap when it doesn't even apply. "Mom, I made the varsity football team! Now all my friends are on the team! This is gonna be a hella cool".."If everyone jumped..." (by the way if your son actually says that it would be 'hella cool', you should shove him off said bridge yourself) I wonder if this is mostly an American sort of thing, or if it is world wide. Like in places where there are no bridges, like in Australia or something. Do they replace 'bridges' with some sort of other high-altitude-form-of-transportation? Like in the alps do they say 'if all of your friends jumped off the ski lift, would you do that too?'. Come to think of it, if everyone jumped off a bridge, I would pretty damn lonely, so I probably wouldn't jump off a bridge too. I'd probably go wherever I wanted and eat as much ice cream as I could fit into my mouth until my stomach exploded. (Which almost happened last night, without the bridge episode even being a factor.)

And what kind of weird ass scenario could possibly cause everyone to jump off this ambiguous 'bridge'? That would have to be some mighty powerful alien-pirates or something. I bet this whole 'bridge jumping' thing came from pirates. Originated with the plank. Think about it.

Okay stop thinking about it. That's just weird of you to actually think about that. Do you do everything I tell you to do? If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that too?

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