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Is it because of that song?

2004-11-16 @ 9:12 a.m.

Why is the Alphabet in that Order? Is It Because of That Song?

I think it's about time to update our type-teaching method of the 'one-sentence-alphabet'..thing. These are the three that I found to be most common, and consequently, are completely outdated:

1) How razorback-jumping frogs can level six piqued

2) The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

3) Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

Alright not sure who wrote the first one, but they clearly weren't even trying. It doesn't even make any sense. And that angers me. Because apparently 'piqued' gymnasts hang around swamps, that are home to not only frogs, but 'razorback-jumping frogs'. Sorry but that sucks.

The second one is decent, and almost makes sense, except I don't appreciate their subtle racism.

And finally the third one; well that one is nearly perfect, I hate to change it. But that must be one hell of a huge box. It holds five DOZEN liquor jugs? How big are these 'jugs' anyway? Nobody uses 'jugs' anymore anyway, and if they do, they are most likely not referring to 'liquor'. Yes, I want realism with my teaching-tools!

So here are my suggestions for the 21st century one-sentence alphabet action. Feel free to use these, and feel even freer to pay me for it.

1) "Jay-Z, Q-Tip, P.Diddy, Ja Rule, XZibit, 50 Cent and Beyonce walked to a very modern fashion show."

See how easy that was!? Sure, it *might* be considered cheating because hip hop artists have the most ridiculous names...but let's use that to our advantage! At least we can be somewhat current, or even plausible! Plus no dogs are in danger of being squished by random jumping foxes! Except of course I doubt Ja Rule would be seen anywhere with 50 Cent, but your 90 year-old grandmother trying to learn how to work the 'magic box' doesn't need to know that! Let's try another one: Remember to keep your forefingers on 'F' key as in 'Fa-chizzle' and 'J' key as in 'Junx'.

2) "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle" should be renamed "Just an Extremely Awful 'B' Movie Victoriously and Zealously Proclaimed Questionable".

Okay that one is a little long, but again, it's a true statement!

Feel free to make up your own and post them here. Your challenge is to not use the cliche' 'jumped', 'jumps' or 'over'.

And by the way, 'you're welcome!'

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