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Golden Girls...whap whap whap

2004-01-15 @ 11:54 p.m.

Golden Girls (Whap, Whap,Whap)

So I actually had to work today! Yay! And tomorrow too, Bigger Yay!

I had to do a 'shoot' (that's what we call when we video something with a video camera here in the 'biz')Anyhoo, it was at school, for some public speaking class. Ultra boring. Some older dudes had to give like four minute speeches that I 'shot' and then I would hook up the camera to the old-school-ghetto TV and we'd watch it and they'd critique their performances. Most of the speeches were pretty damn lame. Budget issues for the City of Fairfax, environmental issues, blah blah. I stayed awake despite better efforts to catch up on much-needed sleep., (I had to wake up at 6 am for this thing!) Anyway so then one guy stood up and started speaking and it piqued my interest. I was all like 'whaa?" (that's what I do when my interest is 'piqued' for future reference) All I heard was 'adult establishment ordinance.' He then tip-toed around the idea that the City needed an adult establishment ordianance meaning we need some strip clubs in this junx! JUNX, I SAY JUNX! But he would say these things with ever so delicate wordage. And I dont even care that that last sentence wasn't correct. The phrases, 'sexual excitment and titilation of customers' was mentioned several times. Then he went on to say that the City would not allow these 'establishments' within 100 yards of schools, churches, or other things that the City if chock full of. Chock is a word I swear! Which led me to wonder, where the heck are these going to be at? Oh yeah I ended that last sentence with a preposition. Ohh YEAHHHH, YOU LIKE THAT?? (sorry been watching too much Dane Cook lately.)

Anyway, so I was thinking being that the City is so small, the only solution is to have these 'adult establishments' in someone's house. I could totally see that. Some old geezers pad too, you'd walk in and some grandma would greet you,

"Well HELLOOW! Welcome to Grandma' Kitchen. We're cooking up some sweet barely legal flesh for ya'll tonight. Then she'd fling off her mu-mu and strut her stuff to the living room. Stipper poles, the whole deal. Because if these places can't be near schools, churches, gas stations, restaurants, stop lights, sidewalks, parks, recreational areas...where are they gonna be?

Grand'ma's Kitchen, where the cookies are nice and fresh and in your face.

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