I had another really weird ass dream last night. And this is where I lose most readers because no one likes to read about people's dreams. It is inherently stupid and boring. So what would it take for you to listen? Or at least pretend to listen? A dollar? 10 dollars? How bout $120 an hour, once a week? Yeah now you're catching on...

Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep at night *er, morning* I have these fantastic ideas for a new 'humorous essay' for my diary, and I am thinking to myself, 'this is just a great and creative idea, there's no way I will forget this tomorrow morning'. And the funny thing is, no matter how many times that happens, and I never do remember it in the morning, I always think I will the next time. So occasionally I'll suck it up and get up, turn on the light and try and write it down. But it never makes any sense. It's usually just some random words like: 'butter+doorframe=hilarity'. I wake up the next day and see what I scribbled and it's retarded. Then the next time I took the trouble to put up a black light next to my bed, had a highlighter next to me, and was able to write things on my wall when I was half asleep....but that never usually works either because the next morning it is too bright to use the blacklight to see the scribblings, and once it is night again, I am in the same half-asleep, os the cycle just keeps going. So the next night that I had these 'epiphany's' I called my cell phone and left myself a message of what I was thinking about. Of course at the time I'm sure it made perfect sense to me, but the next morning when I see that I have a message, all I hear are indecipherable words, 'daseech, plus footh euals pddr'. I love how whenever I have a 'great idea' it somehow involves word equations.

Word equations, are considerably underated. Just like most tv shows.

Kids really shouldn't be watching some of that shit.