No, I'm not talking about Steve Oedekirk's new film..(which I am looking forward to seeing next year.)

I'm talking about the 'Uni-Boob' aka 'sports bra'. I actually wore one today. My brother and friend Josh have been played racquetball quite frequently as of late. Yes, I said 'as of late'. I'm pretty much a college graduate, so I will speak 'as of smart' from now on.

Deal.

Anyway, so they've been 'ballin' it up' as I say. Or 'racquin' it up' or 'they've been hitting balls against a wall that involves a racquet'.

And since I'm Ms. Flubby Flubberson as of late I let them talk me into going. I have not played this game previously, so I was awestruck with the dexterity and precision that my brother wailed his arms about, running around in circles around Josh who stood in about a square foot area swinging his racquet to and fro whilst pouring tea and eating crumpets. Oh yeah he wasn't just sipping tea, he was pouring that junx!

Poor Patchie, he is too tall, with his legs and arms and the tallness of them n' stuff.

So in order for me to play 'sports' I have to wear the 'uni boob' so that Chickie's 'chicks' don't hit other people when running past them. But this seems to form one massive boob. Hence 'Uni-Boob'. I think I am going to market this idea and name to stores. I think it will be a big hit with men. They will just see the word 'Boob' and get excited and buy it, not realizing what it is intended for. They will purchase it for their mah-lady and then be flabbergasted with their wondrous gigantor boob that they see before them.

Then they will sing the Uni-Boob Theme Song that I will Sing to you now:

to the tune 'Uni-Boob':

Oooooh Uni-Boob,
You're so majestic
with your solidarity.
You resemble a big butt,
but it's on your chest!

Ooooooh Uni-Boob,You provide distraction,
you provide comfort
You provide UNIFICA-TION!!!

OOOOOH Uni-Boob,
Even though you are usually too tight,
And only come in one size,
I love you still,
Because you provide BACK- SUPPORT!!!

Oooh Uni-boob,..
Oooh Uni-Boob.
OOOOOH OOOOOHH UNIIII-BOOOOOOOOB!!!!

don't even act like that isn't the best song ever.

Whilst

Gigantor

Flabbergasted

Dexterity