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Say Uncle!

2003-10-17 @ 3:31 a.m.

Say Uncle!

When I was vacationing, err visiting Texas (pronounced “TAY-HAS!!”) (also make sure you're sportin' a huge unnecessary toothy-smile while slapping your knee incessantly whenever mentioning the 'Yee-Haw' state), I became increasingly aware of what superfluous names we give our relatives. And by 'we', I mean the collective 'we' of our society. I, of course, like most others call my parents, 'Mom' or 'Dad'. And sometimes other, more 'fun' names when they are not around.

Ahem. And just like everyone else, my grandma's are known as either 'Gra'ma' or 'Mema'. These are all fairly normal. And every cousin or sibling I have are merely called by their first name. So why do we feel it necessary to call our Aunt and Uncle's not only by their given name, but with the 'Aunt' and 'Uncle' preface?

I find this to be most disturbing and weird. Plus it's a tremendous waste of time. I did the math people. If everyone in the world stopped the "Aunt/Uncle" declaration, think about how much extra time we would have! Time to eat chocolate ice cream, time to hold babies, time to make the donuts, and time to eat even more ice cream!

Why, why for the love of all that is sacred and holy do we feel necessary to remind these people of their family status? Or perhaps do we need to remind ourselves that these people are NOT our parents? Do they look that much alike that we get confused? I would understand if your mom had an identical twin, because then it would be weird to call her by her name because then subconsciously you feel like your were calling your mom by her first name. But then you’d realize that you’re a freaking idiot.

In conclusion, I would like to theorize that the old mercy game that ends with 'Say Uncle' began as a game from parents to force their children to obey this inane familiar law. Eventually the child would give in and say 'Uncle' (or Aunt after women's lib set in) and the game and name stuck. Of course nowadays this forgotten origin of this retarded game has been lost. So please, STOP saying Uncle.

(or Aunt.)

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