2004-08-16 @ 9:45 a.m.
Yeah so last week I actually got off my huge (butt) and went to the 'gym' in my apartment building. I put 'gym' in 'quotes' because it's not that 'big'. (like my butt)
Anyway, being that I am so pathetically out of shape I did the least amount of exercise possible that could then be described as actual exercise. I walked a mile. Yes a WHOLE mile. Envy my stamina.
Well, it was on a treadmill with a 5% incline and with ankle weights, so it was a little better than you think. (But not much) I 'broke a sweat' as they say. Well not so much broke as slightly fractured.
Afterwards I decided to try out the 'ole ghetto style sauna that my apartment building advertises. Of course the last time I went into a sauna I was with my dad and he was the Sauna Engineer or whatever. But I am 25 years old, I should be able to work this thing. How hard could it be? So I find the dial thingy, and turn it to 20 min. I walk in the little wooden room and sit there. It's not hot. So then I figure I have to wait outside while it gets hot. I sit for a few minutes, get inpatient and go back inside. Still not that hot. Then I see the thing that has a bunch of rocks on it. I vaguely remember seeing my dad pour water on them with some sort of wooden spoon. That's when I notice that everything is made out of wood. I imagine it smells a lot like a Holland shoe store. Anyway so all of these thoughts are going through my head as eventually, the room gets a little warm. I never found any water, or wooden spoon, so the rocks remained dry. Which meant the room remained steam-free. Which meant I did not feel as cool as I was hoping to.
So I sat there as I started to sweat. I sweated more than I did when I 'worked out'. That's when I decided the sauna was the way to go. Then it got even hotter. I couldn't help but thinking, 'man it's like a sauna in here'.
'Damn, Beth that's not funny. Everyone says that'.
'But it's true, it is like a sauna in here.'
'shut up Beth, your talking to yourself'.
'well I'm not really, because I'm not talking outloud'.
'but you are disagreeing with yourself, and that's the first sign of crazy.'
'maybe it's the heat'.
'maybe your crazy'.
'maybe you should shut up'.
'maybe I need to get out of here'.
I found myself about to fall asleep, and thinking that wasn't a good idea so I got out. I immediately felt really cold and a little dizzy. I then checked off 'sauna' as something that isn't as cool as I hoped, list.