I've Been Around the World, and I, I, I Saw Some Weird Ass Things... Lately



Yes, YES... the Legend of the Chickie Legs has returned. While I was "away" I visited many far away lands and mysterious locations that I shall hopefully re-create to you all visually via photos and cleverly phrased sentences that will surely devastate your colon. I don't think that is an actual phrase, but it should be.
And now it is.
Colon devastating aside, part of my travels included clothes shopping. I was chilling with my sister and my niece Cameron when we went all up into Kohl's. Which was, by the way, a little Cihlly. I tried to be the good girlfriend and wanted to buy a cute sweater for Angel. But of course I also wanted him to wear it, so I used my LG NuPhone5000x to take pictures of said sweaters and instantly sent them to his Pimpedout Phone. My seemingly sweet gesture turned out sad when in reply to my cutely titled "blue sweater, one horizontal stripe", I received "fat chance". Two tries later I was ready to give up. He'll have to buy his own sweaters. Then I came across one of the weirdest things I've seen in a while. In this next (blurry)picture you will see what appears to be some sort of politically correct handicapped mannequins pimping some tight ass Kohl's fashion. I'm not quite sure why they felt they had to go WAY out of their way to buy a wheelchair to show that these clothes do in fact fit handicapped people as well, but in any case, that appears to be what it is. My theory is that they found a wheelchair in the parking lot and some late night hijinks was in the works.

Perhaps they watched 'Mannequin' earlier that day. Which by the way, is one of the dumbest, yet coolest movies every made. No wait, yeah it's just dumb. You should rent it if you are not familiar. Kim Catrall of "Sex in the City" is an Egyptian from 2000BC who comes to life as a mannequin in 1987 to then help a loser artist become famous by making 'wacky' mannequin displays. Yes, I know, it's the story that's been told a million times.
Anyway, so I continued my Mannequin Watch and came across this little gem:

These snotty ladies were across from the handicapped young lady across the aisle. Reminds me of high school. In case you weren't aware the higher the arm placement=the snottier and more popular you are. The fact that their heads were aparently sliced off at a 45 degree angle shows that they had messed with the wrong handicapped stylin' fool across the aisle. I looked around the store for the unmistakable jock pulling a mannequinn'd wedgie, but to no avail. Perhaps Sports Authority would come through, but that will have to wait for another weekend.
Another fun thing I did recently was going car shopping with Angel. He just woke up one day and decided he was going to buy a new car. I wish it would be that simple for me, but I digest cheesecake. I mean, I digress. Sorry I'm hungry. Anyway, so we went to this one used car place near his house to where we met one of the hippest ladies ever. She came out while we were faux looking at an Escalade and she asked us what we were looking for. After Angel replied 'a car', she looked surprised as if she didn't not realize where she worked. It became apparent very quickly that this lady had no knowledge of anything automotive. Except that she liked them. And possibly, wanted to sell one to make some money. We got the keys to sit inside the Clade to where she sat in the back asking us what everything did. 'Oooh, what's that for?' 'Is this a dvd player?' We knew we weren't at the right place when she asked us what 'CK ENGNE' meant.
Eventually we came across a sweet Jeep Cherokee ride that Angel ultimately bought the next day. With a pimp ass navigation system, dvd player, leather seats and a sun roof, we be riding in style. Yo.
Anyway so that is part one of The Legend of Chickie Legs Returns. I hope one day, to post again with part two, and dare I say, part three.

As for tonight, wish my little brother good luck as he continues his journey to being the best bad ass drummer ever. The second round of the drum off competition is tonight!!

UPDATE: My brother won last night's drum off! Now that he has won 'the store' he goes onto District's in a month. Yayyy!!!